Fifth Sanctum

This is an IRC-based roleplaying game about the misadventures of supernatural youths and the lives they live at Fifth Sanctum School.
 
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 Temporary - Character Submissions

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Kioku
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:10 am

So, it's hard to coordinate sometimes, especially with everyone being on different schedules, and how easy it is for some things to get lost. So let's make that a little easier. This is a temporary solution probably, but hopefully it'll make things a little easier on us all.

If you have a character that has been approved, but is not listed on the SORT BY PLAYER section of http://fifthsanctum.com/characters then please say so. Likewise, if you have an approved character that is not listed on http://fifthsanctum.com/xp-tracker also say so, along with providing the date on which their first scene took place.

If you have a character that needs review and approval, kindly link it here as well, and hopefully that'll help prevent it from being buried or forgotten.
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Balthazaar



Posts : 3
Join date : 2016-07-13
Age : 25
Location : Melbourne: Australia

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:51 am

I have a character sheet that hasn't really been looked at yet. I hope it's okay.
http://fifthsanctum.com/character:ettain
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Kioku
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 9:06 am

Re: Ettain
There is a stated age limit for characters, and 100 years is pretty plainly in excess of it.
I'd question why a weak but agile character wouldn't play to their strengths and would learn a brawn based close combat skill instead of an agility based one, but that's up to you.
Power: Daughter of the Pale One needs to be properly explained, how it works and what mechanical effects it has.
Weaknesses to iron and silver could use actual explanation; most fae aren't weak to iron, and if night elves are related to 'normal' elves, the silver allergy would be rather difficult to explain too. Keep in mind that most elves just live normally among humans, as if they themselves were human... and mature at the same rate as humans, besides, while many fae mature faster, not slower.
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dragonwielder



Posts : 7
Join date : 2016-07-01

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 11:45 am

I need this brain fart here reviewed Very Happy http://fifthsanctum.com/character:alden-baroque
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Kioku
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 11:56 am

Re: Alden
The only real problem is the potential on Inherited Memory - namely, that two skill replacements alone constitute an entire power, and there's no real room for it to be added on to later. If it works in this particular way, it would never do more than it does right now, except for numbers-wise. The flavor is kind of tricky too, but ehhh, that can be figured out.
Also if a weakness isn't a weakness, list it under misc instead of weaknesses.
Also HP should be 1 higher because of Brawn.
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dragonwielder



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Join date : 2016-07-01

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 12:13 pm

I can deal with the power not doing anymore than it does now. I have some soft RP ideas for it anyways.
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madness_



Posts : 6
Join date : 2016-07-13

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 3:49 pm

Going to need a little help with the second anom skill, if that's perfectly alright. Working on the rest, like the history, at the moment. http://fifthsanctum.com/character:lee-dae-su

Thanks for your time.
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LipstickThespian
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Posts : 28
Join date : 2016-06-22

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 4:30 pm

dragonwielder wrote:
I need this brain fart here reviewed Very Happy http://fifthsanctum.com/character:alden-baroque

The only last thing I would change is "Upon it being discovered what he did, he was moved from his school to receive education at Fifth sanctum." Add in a 'by his parents' to this.

Approved! Added to the character list.
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LipstickThespian
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Join date : 2016-06-22

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 4:33 pm

madness_ wrote:
Going to need a little help with the second anom skill, if that's perfectly alright. Working on the rest, like the history, at the moment. http://fifthsanctum.com/character:lee-dae-su

Thanks for your time.

Either he breaths fire, or his rapping is like casting a fire spell. Just define it as a fire creation, either he throws it or casts it, depending on your flavor.
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Kioku
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 5:55 pm

Re: Lee Dae-su
Power: Wry Haikai - a bonus to an entire stat is a Big Deal, something not easily gotten and never in high numbers or for a long time. +1 for 2-3 rounds, for example, is about the limit of most powers that do practically just that, until they're higher - and even then, it never goes above +2, still for that short of a time. Would have far far better luck aiming for a different sort of effect than a stat buff.
Oh, and there's no history I guess. And only 5 power points spent out of 7.
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espadrile



Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-07-13

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 6:25 pm

Can someone check out Chloe for me? http://fifthsanctum.com/character:chloe-gass
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Kioku
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 6:29 pm

Re: Chloe
Sleep and Dream are pretty limited, considering they only really do one thing each, and a lot of other powers can induce sleep without it being their main thing. You could most likely get away with combining them into one quite easily if you wanted to. And possibly have it do more on top of that.
Tentacles kinda needs a mechanical advantage to being ranked up - that is, the number has to actually mean something, the power can't be exactly the same at rank 7 as it is at rank 1.
We like seeing an exact height in the description.
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WetBeard



Posts : 21
Join date : 2016-07-12

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 6:41 pm

This is finished and ready for review: http://fifthsanctum.com/character:eloise-marlyn
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Kioku
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 6:48 pm

Re: Eloise
Skill: Botany tends to be more or less grouped under general Academics/Research, which you already also have, or possibly medicine. Could continue having it, but it really probably would get much call.
Power: Catalyst - How are charges recovered? At what rate?
Size Increase - shouldn't that be 120%? XD
Weaknesses - Honestly, the weaker bones one would count as mild (as you did), but all of the others combined would have been less than a single mild if they weren't flavor instead.
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WetBeard



Posts : 21
Join date : 2016-07-12

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 7:17 pm

Previously stated errors have been fixed. http://fifthsanctum.com/character:eloise-marlyn
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madness_



Posts : 6
Join date : 2016-07-13

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 7:21 pm

Alright, so I think I finished this up. How's he looking? http://fifthsanctum.com/character:lee-dae-su

Is that alright?
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Kioku
GM


Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:05 pm

Re: Lee Dae-su
Still has the problems previously mentioned...

Re: Eloise
50% is a lot, but with the other restrictions in place and the apparent nature of the power, should still be not too unreasonable (long as it doesn't end up getting abused for 4x mass or something).
Still don't like how flavor things are mislabeled (particularly last one saying severe (flavor) when it would be part-of-a-mild (flavor) really).
That said, Eloise seems fine / approve-able to me. History ends a little weak, but that's just nitpicking. So yes. One approval mark out of two.
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madness_



Posts : 6
Join date : 2016-07-13

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:10 pm

Kioku wrote:
Re: Lee Dae-su
Still has the problems previously mentioned...

Re: Eloise
50% is a lot, but with the other restrictions in place and the apparent nature of the power, should still be not too unreasonable (long as it doesn't end up getting abused for 4x mass or something).
Still don't like how flavor things are mislabeled (particularly last one saying severe (flavor) when it would be part-of-a-mild (flavor) really).
That said, Eloise seems fine / approve-able to me.  History ends a little weak, but that's just nitpicking.  So yes.  One approval mark out of two.

Didn't even see that, my apologies.
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Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 pm

http://fifthsanctum.com/character:siobhan-lynch
Pls add her to the character list, thanks!
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madness_



Posts : 6
Join date : 2016-07-13

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Wed Jul 13, 2016 9:26 pm

http://fifthsanctum.com/character:lee-dae-su Okay, they always say the third time's the charm.

How's he looking now?
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Uracilo

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Posts : 29
Join date : 2016-06-23

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Thu Jul 14, 2016 12:02 am

Need new character looked at:

http://fifthsanctum.com/character:harisha-deneb

Thanks!
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Kioku
GM


Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Thu Jul 14, 2016 7:49 am

Re: Siobhan
Exact height should be in the description too, not just misc. Razz Just saying. But yeah, added, list and tracker alike.

Re: Lee Dae-su
Power: Wry Haikai is a little on the weak side now, but then it's also only rating 3, so I could see it growing and developing into something more / better later on. Just get rid of the 'once per run' bit. Razz I could see once per target per run, but never once per run outright.
Weakness - it's at least mild, for sure, and should be tagged as such - which also means two unspent skill points. Easy enough to fix.
Tag weakness and spend its points, and drop or clarify 'once per run', and I'll prod with 1/2 approval.

Re: Harisha
Power: Loving is a bit limited by the sound of it, but interesting and I could see it growing later.
Power: Love is mechanically undefined, I'd want to see a bit more specifics/detail on it.
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Balthazaar



Posts : 3
Join date : 2016-07-13
Age : 25
Location : Melbourne: Australia

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Thu Jul 14, 2016 9:13 am

I've had a look and revised Ettain accordingly. I explained more about her night elf form, put a little thing in the misc section about the night elves themselves, and tweaked her brawn ability to agility based.
http://fifthsanctum.com/character:ettain
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Kioku
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2016-06-17
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:38 am

Re: Ettain
Power: Daughter of the Pale One needs to be properly explained, how it works and what mechanical effects it has. Just saying "boost" doesn't mean anything. (This part was the problem, not the part you expanded on.)
Weakness - iron part still doesn't really make sense...

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Uracilo

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Join date : 2016-06-23

PostSubject: Re: Temporary - Character Submissions   Thu Jul 14, 2016 11:15 am

http://fifthsanctum.com/character:harisha-deneb

Worked in a mechanical description for Love, but it has a question in it. I'm not sure how to work with it to keep it in line with other bonuses and still make it useful in mechanics-driven situations.

As for Loving, I'm not sure at the moment how to fix it being too limited as it is. If it's not a problem I'd rather keep it this way, since I think it makes up for it by having no limits in the amount of things she can claim or the range her perception reaches with it.
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